Sexist Jokes (Again, these are only jokes)

[Rican]

Male of female bashing jokes please. Let's see what y'all got. Since I started the post, and I'm a guy. I'll post some of the women jokes I know.

-Why is a wedding gown traditionally white?
-Cause the dishwasher should match the fridge.

-Why are women's feet smaller than men's?
-So they can fit closer to the sink

-How many men does it take to open a beer?
-None it should be open by the time she brings it to you.

-What do you tell a woman with two black eyes?
-Nothing you done told her twice already

-What happens if your woman is out of the kitchen yellin at you?
-You made her chain too long

-What do you do when your woman's watch breaks?
-Nothing. There's a clock on the stove.

-Why did the woman cross the road?
-Who cares, what the hell was she doing out of the kitchen?!?

And to end on a fact:
Did you know there are over 10,000 battered women in Georgia? And to think this whole time I've been eating them plain.

[queen_jill]

what do all women at a battered shelter have in common?
bitch talk to damn much!


good chick jokes...now here r sum guy bashing ones...just to be fair:

what do breasts and video games have in common?
theyre both meant for children, but men usually end up playing them

whats the difference between a vibrator and a man?
the orgasms better and u dont have to listen to a dildo snore all night

and finally:

whats the difference between a man and a bucket of shit?
the bucket


:headbang:

[Patzo]

this is gonna be a loooong one .. suprised ? lol

why are batteries better than men ?

at least batteries have one positive side


what do u give to a guy who has everything ?

a gurl to explain to him how it all works


why are men like commercials ?

u cant beliee a single word they say


why do only 10% of the men go to heave ?

cuz otherwise it would be hell


why is a man much like a microwave ?

they are finished in 30 secs


why did god create men first ?

every artist makes a raw draft first


what's do dinosaurs and sensitive men have in common ?

they're both extinct


why cant a guy be handsome and intelligent ?

cuz that would make him a woman


why are millions of sperms needed to fertilize one egg ?

cuz they are male and too stubborn to ask for directions


a man is like a vcr . forward - back - play - forward - back - play - stop - eject


how can u recognize a hory male ?

it breathes


how do u call a goodlooking , intelligent and sesitive man ?

a rumor





--- that's all for now .; dont wnat anyone to think im hating on man .... hahhahha

[aggitsback]

how many men does it take to change a light bulb....none, let the bitch do the dishes in the dark

what's the toughest part of having a sex change from a man to a woman......it's not cutting off your penis...it's having your brain shrunk and your mouth enlarged.

why can't southern woman use vibrators......it chips their teeth.

why is the best contraceptive for a woman a sponge....because when you're done fucking them they can do your dishes.

why aren't women encouraged to swim in the ocean...you can't get the smell out of the fish.

why do woman have a little string on their tampon....free floss

why are woman so powerful....they have half the money and all the booty.

how do most women turn on the light after sex....they open the car door.


peace...

[.oOKUMBUBBLEOo.]

What do you tell a woman with two black eyes?

she should have learned the first time...

[Gargoylee]

Personally, I try to remember not to blame men for being stupid. Becuase if my brains were being knocked around between my legs all day, I'd have brain damage too.

[Osiris]

why do women have two holes?
so when they're drunk, you can carry them home like a six pack!

[euphoric]

What's the difference between a pussy and a cunt?

A pussy is warm and wet and soft, and the cunt is the one who owns it...lol

[DaX]

When is the only time a woman is above a man?

when the kitchen's upstairs in the house.

[thatsnogood]

What's the pefect secretary?
-One who never misses a period.

Why is a woman like a box of chicken?
-After you nibble on the breast and thighs. There is nothing left except a greasy box to throw the bone in.

[Canada]

A man and his wife were in a doctors office an the doctor said "I'm sorry sir, but you're going to need a new brain. You can get a brain from a male for $1000 or you can get a brain from a femal for $500." The wife became angry and demanded "Why is the female brain half the price?" and the doctor said "Because it's used"

[vapor]

adam is sitting in the garden of eden.. and he feels lonely... he asks god to make him a counterpart. god replies " i can give you the perfect woman... she's smart, beautiful, does all the housework, never complains, and hates talking during sporting events... the only problem is she'll cost you an arm and a leg..." adam thinks about this then says " well, what can i get for a rib?"