View Full Version : Jewish jokes (they are only jokes)
Shamrock
06-05-2002, 02:52 AM
Q: How do you get a thousand Jews out of a Volswagon Beattle??
A: Empty the ashtrey
Q: what the diffirence between a jew and a pizza?
A: A pizza doesnt scream when you put it in the oven
I know right, IM going to hell!!!!!!!!!!!
Peace Love Unity & A comfy spot right next to the devel
Charlie
Rican
06-05-2002, 03:18 PM
damn, I love those jokes!!! my friend told me that a long time ago.
so how does every racist joke start?
*looks around*
Rican
06-05-2002, 04:48 PM
Q. Did you hear about the Jewish Kamakazi pilot?
A. He crashed his plane into his uncles scrap yard.
Q. Did you hear about the New Jewish sports car?
A. It stops on a dime and picks it up to!
Q. What do jews do when they are cold?
A. They sit around a candle!!
Q. What do they do when they are really cold??
A. They light it!!
John Law
06-05-2002, 06:31 PM
Q. how was copper wire invented?
A. 2 jews fighting over a penny
Q. what is the functionality of that little hat they wear to church?
A. like an oven mit, it keeps you from burning your fingers when you push them in the oven
Q. what do u call a jew on a stick?
A. Jesus the christ
i think thats a start
SweetEnloe
06-05-2002, 06:35 PM
http://www.plurplanet.com/scrapbook/01-07-07chromatic/0037.jpg
That is the punchline to every Jew joke ever made, for those that know....
John Law
06-05-2002, 08:03 PM
how could i forget...
who was the ORIGINAL JEWISH COOK?
hitler
Syndr0me
06-06-2002, 12:51 AM
Originally posted by Shamrock
Q: How do you get a thousand Jews out of a Volswagon Beattle??
A: Empty the ashtrey
Q: what the diffirence between a jew and a pizza?
A: A pizza doesnt scream when you put it in the oven
Man those where funny like in 3rd grade...wait no...no they werent funny even back then...
I know right, IM going to hell!!!!!!!!!!! Not if they have an IQ requirement
lilpunkkid
06-06-2002, 01:07 AM
hahahahaha...rock on blue....thats why your my hero cause your bad ass like that :headbang: :headbang:
jackie :D
MoonGrrl
06-06-2002, 01:29 AM
Originally posted by SweetEnloe
http://www.plurplanet.com/scrapbook/01-07-07chromatic/0037.jpg
That is the punchline to every Jew joke ever made, for those that know....
YES!! He even has a jew NOSE!! Look at it! :D But hey, I can't help but <3 you jew furpies. [yes, you beelee and carson]
:twak:
Shamrock
06-06-2002, 12:04 PM
Ya know what, I shut one asshole up, and up pops another!
Oh well............................. Ponders on why people who dont even know me wanna talk shit.................
Peace Love Unity & Rape
Charlie
Syndr0me
06-06-2002, 04:54 PM
I shut one asshole up, and up pops another! Im sorry theres too much asshole for you to handle..I figured someone corkin butts as long as you would be good by now.
lilpunkkid
06-06-2002, 04:56 PM
hahahahahhaa.....Blue you kick major ASS!!!!!! :headbang: :headbang: ....hehehe..Kick his ass blue
jackie :p
Originally posted by Syndr0me
Im sorry theres too much asshole for you to handle..
BWAHAHAHAHAHA :D
Kim
Destinee
06-06-2002, 08:49 PM
Originally posted by Syndr0me
Im sorry theres too much asshole for you to handle..I figured someone corkin butts as long as you would be good by now.
BWAHAHAHAH
aggitsback
06-07-2002, 12:14 AM
Why do jews have big noses....air is free.
How can you tell when a jewish women orgasms...she drops her fingernail file.
What's the difference between a jew and a gum machine...if you give money to the gum machine, you will get something out of it.
why can't jewish woman be on top during sex...a true jew doesn't like the overhead.
why do jewish women use sponges for contraceptives...when they are done fucking, they do the dishes.
How was the Grand Canyon formed......a jew lost a penny down a gopher hole.
NICE ONE BROTHER..
just outta curiosity...who did you shut up again?
-Ecko
Shamrock
06-07-2002, 10:33 AM
Well if it isnt my dear friend Ecko, who did I shut up you ask?
Some dickless wonder who wouldnt know the diffirence between his ass and a whole in the ground. Anyway "Shawty" How are things your way? Not lonley are ya??
Peace Love Unity & Ill let you figure it out asshole
Charlie
PS: Blue, come back to me when you have something a lil more thought provoking to talk about other then buttplugs!
Syndr0me
06-08-2002, 01:16 PM
Some dickless wonder who wouldnt know the diffirence between his ass and a whole in the ground. Is that his birth name or party name? Ohh i get it ..your afraid to say who you THINK you shut up because if he sees ya false representin he might put ya down in front off all your adoring peeps.....i get it it...more power to ya sweety
Blue, come back to me when you have something a lil more thought provoking to talk about other then buttplugs! Sorry I was tryin to stick to a subject you could relate with
Originally posted by Shamrock
Well if it isnt my dear friend Ecko
you mean your still so desperate for friends your still trying to convince me your cool?....you really should give up already
Originally posted by Shamrock
who did I shut up you ask?
my reply to that....
Originally posted by Ecko
just outta curiosity...who did you shut up again?
-Ecko thought that was a pretty clear question actually
Originally posted by Shamrock
Some dickless wonder who wouldnt know the diffirence between his ass and a whole in the ground.
you really should just say who your talking about...this whole name calling stuff...while amusing...does very little to get your actual point accros....that is....if you even have one
Originally posted by Shamrock
How are things your way? Not lonley are ya??
my way?....things are going fine, i have the great support of true friends btw nice low blow...to bad it missed....try again when you know more about the situation ;) and what ever happened to the AIM convo you threatened with posting....and did you enjoy talking to yourself?....because as i recall i let you know i was leaving...and yet you kept sending IMs....just a hint...those that actually talk back are more fun, and it shows they may actually even care about what you say....(heres where you come back with "so since you responded you cared")....my reply to that to pre-empt you is yes...i did...i care about all of gods unfourtunate creatures, deaf blind and yes...even the dumb ones like yourself.
-Ecko
btw i love how you make it a point to put the PLU* in every post...that makes you soooo pluriffic!!! ecspeccially goes good with your crappy insults, you may wanna get this fixation on talking about ass hole checked out...im sure its not healthy...dam near obsessive
melly
06-08-2002, 04:14 PM
can we just drop tha fuckin madness here!? This is getting so old dude, all of you need to just get off eachother. It makes threads so boring, espesially when all you two do is harp on eachothr for the same things OVER and OVER! Seriousley, let it die ya'll.. :rolleyes:
melly
06-08-2002, 04:17 PM
oh btw Carson's face did make me fall out of my chair though!
BWHAHAHA!!! :headbang:
Shamrock
06-08-2002, 04:24 PM
The only reason its a low blow "shawty" cause it hurt your feelings which is something you probably needed. Your fucking ego trip gives me a fucking headache which is the only reason I continue to respond. You would figure with as much as you have lost over the past two weeks you would rethink the way you handle things, and you have the nerve to call me a fucking dumbass. Get a fucking grip kiddo or continue to live in your lil fantasy world where you think you are truly the shit! In all your lil shit and cockyness what have you really gained, what have you lost?? Quite frankly I dont give a shit "shawty", you wanna but heads with me, thats fine. I dont think Ill be kissing your ass anytime soon. And as for speakin about things I dont know about.... Dont ever make the mistake of underestimating what I do or dont know, that would be your biggest mistake yet.
As for you blue, you speak masses for yourself so I choose not to thump you in a battle of wits, I fear you couldnt keep up and that takes all the fun out if it so ............fuck off
Charlie
yet again you over estimate your effectiveness on me....granted it was a low blow....but you missed with it....but you can keep it up...i know what ive lost....and that was the most important thing to me...if you think your some big man by taking pot shots at me for that...then by all means tickle yourself pink, but as for me...im just gonna let you go on your merry way.
-Ecko
Shamrock
06-08-2002, 05:49 PM
That may just be the smartest decession you have made yet kiddo! Who knows maybe there is a lil; hope for you afterall
oh look at that...i changed my mind....your still a dumbass and my bitch....if ya dont believe me look for yourself
-Ecko
Syndr0me
06-09-2002, 02:48 PM
Originally posted by melly
can we just drop tha fuckin madness here!? This is getting so old dude, all of you need to just get off eachother. It makes threads so boring, espesially when all you two do is harp on eachothr for the same things OVER and OVER! Seriousley, let it die ya'll.. :rolleyes: Melly did ya read the Title of this section..I do believe it was Wrongville, but hey Ive been known to make mistakes...Oh wait I just looked YES this is Wrongville...so if you dont want to see bickering dont come in here.As for you blue, you speak masses for yourself so I choose not to thump you in a battle of wits, I fear you couldnt keep up and that takes all the fun out if it so ............fuck off Translation: you are afraid to battle me because you have no skill...Dude its cool man, admitting your fears is the first step to overcoming them. Remeber if you need someone to hold your hand Im here to walk ya through it
melly
06-09-2002, 03:17 PM
actually chris, they argue everywhere... :rolleyes:
Kel*Bel
06-10-2002, 01:50 PM
MAN. That's one mad A-Rab.
Melly rocks. :) Tell him girl.
Shamrock
06-10-2002, 02:04 PM
It amazes me with as much shit you talk on these boards you certainly didnt have much to say in person. I guess some people really do hide behind there keyboards. You didnt look like you had much to say anyway.......................
Why dont you plan on me speaking to you next party, maybe this way you will have a lil time to think about how you my reply since thats obviously what you need.
Sine you dont like my PLU &..............
How bout..............
One is the Lonliest Number
Charlie
WHY DID THE JEWS WANDER IN THE DESERT FOR 40 YEARS?
because this is a fucking jewish joke thread and people aren't posting jewish jokes...or it could be that someone dropped a quarter in the sand... :rolleyes:
Syndr0me
06-11-2002, 01:01 AM
I dunno about Brandon...but if i knew who you were I'd have plenty to say in person...or more or less I'd just laugh at you....alot
Shamrock
06-11-2002, 01:39 AM
well lil blue, how bout I send you my picture and when you see me this weekend you can say what ever your lil heart desires!
Charlie
Syndr0me
06-11-2002, 01:46 AM
how bout I send you my picture and when you see me this weekend you can say what ever your lil heart desires! You plan on visiting me this weekend?
Well I can email ya my schedule, and you can show up wherever I might be... I guess you mistook me for a super cool kid with no life other than goin out and seeing the same djs every weekend.
Shamrock
06-12-2002, 01:58 AM
actually I was just thinking of checking my local grave yard
sick fuck
So nice of you to stick up for him anyway, I know he needs it! you would probably be better holding him, better than him crying into his pillow everynight
just a suggestion
Charlie
ok, im sure you get this amazing joy out of whats been going on im my personal life...how about we make this clear seeing as how you can't understand things when i tell them to you one on one....leave me and melissa out of your lil shit wars, are you really that stupid?...do you think that by making light of the situation and pain that your going to somehow be cooler?....i doubt it....and i more than anyone understand the rules of wrongville, and youve crossed the line here. You can say whatever the hell you want ...but bringing this up all the time isnt good for her either so leave her and I out of your posts ...im not a shy person, but i actually care about her and dont really want to see her and my personal issues used as ammo in your bitching contest. This is friendly...it happens once.
-Ecko
Shamrock
06-12-2002, 10:46 AM
Why ecko, I really dont have the slightest clue what you are talking about, I dont recall bringing up anyone in my post but you! And as far as whats right and whats not, I have seen you cross that line numerous times with me as well as many others so dont go getting all respectful on me now when things arent going your way! You have gone out of your way to take shots at me, please tell me you understand why I would do the same to you? Plus its fun, I know it gets to you and as far as I can see thats something your not used to. So next time stick to your shallow wit and dont try to come at me like a human being, you havent done before. I certainly dont care to see it now. Oh and by the way..........Fuck your hospotality
And as far as joy, you kow as well as I that it comes in small dosses, seeing you and knowing how pittiful you are right now brings me joy ecko, Its always interesting to see the tables turned.
Peace Love Unity & ___________
(why dont you fill in the blank shawtey)
Charlie
actually....its funny you would say im in pain...again you speak off what you assume...guess its asking to much for you to know the facts...still tho...its ok, i wouldnt expect you to understand anyway. Just make a mental note, that it was explained to you already. As far as me taking shots like the ones you've taken at me...not hardly, see you would actually have to care about someone to get hurt, and when your just using them for ass...well...just isnt the same. As far as you getting to me...you give yourself to much credit, I just choose to keep certain parts of my private life just that....private...it would be in your interest to see this and abide....but your right, i cant MAKE you do anything...i guess it truly is your choice whether you stop or not...decisions decisions....
-Ecko
Shamrock
06-12-2002, 12:34 PM
Now who was it again that spoke on things that they dont know about? And who has dished out more low blows? If you havent noticed ecko I dont have these conversatation with kust everybody. Only you and who ever is ignorant enough to defemd you. As far as giving myslef to much credit, I give myself no credit. You gave every bit of it to me when you didnt even have the pride to look me in the eyes the other night, and when you dipped out on are AIM convo. The decesion is not mine, its yours. When you decide to apologize for stepping into my busniess with out a fucking clue then I might just ease up. Dont try to put things off on me that fall directlyon you
Charlie
well...you've made your bed...now lie in it....btw...none is the loneliest number ;)
-Ecko
Shamrock
06-12-2002, 01:57 PM
what are you gonna do "shawty" fuck with my profile, better yet get me banned from the board. Give me a fucking break, Ive made my bed now lie in it, you have got to be fucking kidding me.
Who is this new girl IM hearing about, Angel something, I sure would like to meet her!
Charlie
Syndr0me
06-12-2002, 03:37 PM
actually I was just thinking of checking my local grave yard Why ..you need another date?
I started makin fun of you NOT to stick up for Brandon..but because I see you are a moron...and I make fun of all the morons
Shamrock
06-12-2002, 04:01 PM
That was real snappy there Blue, please tell me you have something better than that to come at me with. PLease tell me you havent wasted my time with such stupidity! Next time try "I know you are but what am I" that would work well for you.
I know you got a lil something more thought provoking in that pea brain of yours.......................
Please enlighten me.
Peace Love Unity & Snappy fucking comebacks
Charlie
cuppy
06-12-2002, 04:35 PM
you guys should all take up a hobby, something that will take you somewhere, cuz yall could all bitch back and forth till the end of time and nobody is gonna win. grow up a little bit and dont let the stupid assholes in life get such a fuckin rise out of you all the time.....
cupcake
Shamrock
06-12-2002, 04:41 PM
Oh Andria
I just thought I would participate in a lil prick waving with these to dumbasses for a lil while. Besides IM working and have very lil to do at the moment.
Got any good Ideas as far as a hobbie is concerned.
I love you meanie
Charlie
XxObnoxiousBobxX
06-12-2002, 08:53 PM
Q. If a Jew were to walk into a wall with an erection wut do you think would hit first???
A. His nose.
Wuts the difference between a Jewish gurl and a ice hockey goalie?
A. None they both change their pads after 3 periods.
Syndr0me
06-13-2002, 01:07 AM
with these to dumbasses for a lil while its spelled "two"....dumbassplease tell me you have something better than that to come at me with. Why go for the overkill....you havent had a decent comeback to a single thing I have said yet, so why would I waste anymore brain power on someone so helpless.
ShamCock
06-13-2002, 01:43 AM
I just realized..I was a complete loser, I appologize Brandon..as if my horrible taste in girlfriends didnt prove that already, I totally made an ass of myself by trying to match wits with two of the hottest guys on Plur Planet...not to mention the smartest.
The reason I was such a dick is because I secretly want to make sweet love to the both of you....please accept my apology and let me suck your dicks...
Shamrock
06-13-2002, 02:04 AM
so this is what the two of you could come up with!
Are we back on the playground or what??
Syndr0me
06-13-2002, 02:10 AM
Hmm..so i see im being offered head .... nice offer but I dont know where your mouth has been son..welll I have an idea of where and I dont need that on my dick...sorry buck a roo
BTW...Shamcock...that is fuckin Hi-Larry-ass
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