*Men vs. Women*

[Black Lotus]

In light of why women don't understand men and vice versa. Some interesting statistics about gender differences.......enjoy :)

One basic truth: Men and women are different

RELATIONSHIPS
First of all, a man does not call a relationship. He refers to it as a romance, or a period of dating, of going out, or, in some unfortunate circumstances, "that time when me and Suzy was doing it on a semi-regular basis."

When a relationship ends, a woman will cry, and pour her heart out to her girlfriends, and she will write a poem titled "All Men are Idiots." Then she will get on with her life.

A man has a little more trouble letting go. For six months, his ex may not hear from him, but then, at three on Saturday night/Sunday morning, he will call and say, "I just wanted to let you know you ruined my life, and I'll never forgive you, and I hate you, and you're a total floozy. But I want to let you know there's always a chance for us."

This is known as the "I Hate You/I Love You" drunken phone call. Ninety-nine percent of all men past the age of 21 have made this call at least once. Some men make a career of these calls. There are community colleges that offer extension courses to help men get over this need; alas, these classes rarely prove effective.
SEX
Women prefer 30 to 45 minutes of foreplay. Men prefer 30 to 45 seconds of foreplay. For the man, driving back to her place is considered a part of foreplay.
MATURITY
Women mature at a much faster rate than men. Most 17 year old females can function as adults. Most 17 year old males are still trading baseball cards and giving each other wedgies after gym class. This is why high school romances rarely work.
CATS
Women love cats. Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats.
ADMITTING MISTAKES
Women will sometimes admit making a mistake. The last man who admitted he was wrong was General George Custer.
WEDDINGS
When reminiscing about weddings women talk about "the ceremony." Men talk about "the bachelor party."
MAGAZINES
Men's magazines often feature pictures of naked ladies. Women's magazines also feature pictures of naked ladies. This is because the female body is a beautiful work of art, while the male body is lumpy and hairy and should not be seen by the light of day.

[XxX Kristy XxX]

LMAO!! Yah that does sounds like most of the relationships between men and women. I mean Im sure there are a few good ones and arent just like that.

Hehe that was funny though.

[BloodyMortyKidd]

I made "that phone call" once but I was so drunk I dialed the wrong number.

[XxX Kristy XxX]

things happen for reasons huh?

[Black Lotus]

Figured I'd make someone laugh after all the bashing that was done.

I think alot of it's true though. :)

[XxX Kristy XxX]

Yes I do also. Guys just arent that sensitive. I dont know why they have to act so macho. It is ok to care and have feelings. I promise. :)


Girls are just so much more emotional and all about the "caring" part. Welp I know I am cuz I am a damn Pisces. Shoot, thats like our main focus in life. It tends to get you hurt a lot though. Damn the hopless romantics. Gosh. jk

[xChrisx]

This is known as the "I Hate You/I Love You" drunken phone call. Ninety-nine percent of all men past the age of 21 have made this call at least once. Some men make a career of these calls. There are community colleges that offer extension courses to help men get over this need; alas, these classes rarely prove effective.
I am a man I dont get drunk. Therefor can not make any drunken calls.


Women prefer 30 to 45 minutes of foreplay. Men prefer 30 to 45 seconds of foreplay. For the man, driving back to her place is considered a part of foreplay.
when the girl says I need your cock inside me NOW.. after only 2 minutes of foreplay.. yea

Women mature at a much faster rate than men. Most 17 year old females can function as adults. Most 17 year old males are still trading baseball cards and giving each other wedgies after gym class. This is why high school romances rarely work.
im almost 21 and I STILL give wedgies


Women love cats. Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats.
I have had my cat for 9 years now. If anybody hurt my cat i'd kill them

This is because the female body is a beautiful work of art, while the male body is lumpy and hairy and should not be seen by the light of day. my body has NO hair

so now that I put those rumors to rest.. is there a girl out there that has any clue what shes talking about? no? thought not.

good day

[snipersloth3]

What about what we have in common?
Huh?
I mean... I have never met anyone who can
piss and sneeze at the same time!

[Black Lotus]

Rumors eh? I couldn't think of all that shit if I tried.

Yeah, I forgot "stupid bitches" love to spread rumors.....and that is basically what you are saying I am. But I don't really give a fuck.

[nesquik]

A man has a little more trouble letting go. For six months, his ex may not hear from him, but then, at three on Saturday night/Sunday morning, he will call and say, "I just wanted to let you know you ruined my life, and I'll never forgive you, and I hate you, and you're a total floozy. But I want to let you know there's always a chance for us."

so true, not all the time but GOD thats funny/ironic!!! ahahahahh

[snipersloth3]

C'mon, now.
Not everyone is that psycho...

well, not all the time. ;)

[nesquik]

lol, you'd be surprised

[XxX Kristy XxX]

^^^ I know right.

[vapor]

the only mistake custer made was listening to a women about directions...

[Fallosophy]

HAHAHAHAHA^


and dont get so defensive dnb, chris is only informing you of the truth

[kevinb70]

*Men vs. Women*Thinking of it that way and you will never escape the paradigm of men vs women.
One basic truth: Men and women are differentI agree. Thinking men and women should be treated the same is foolish when the majority of men (analytical, problem solving) think differently from the majority of women (who seek validation of their feelings). Like when most women tell their problems to their men, it's not always to get the men to give them a solution, it's so they can get emotional support from them. But most men think that women are only asking for a solution.
RELATIONSHIPS
A man has a little more trouble letting go. For six months, his ex may not hear from him, but then, at three on Saturday night/Sunday morning, he will call and say, "I just wanted to let you know you ruined my life, and I'll never forgive you, and I hate you, and you're a total floozy. But I want to let you know there's always a chance for us." I know there are some men out there that do this, but I thought it was a minority? I thought the majority would be inclined to be looking at future prospects of some new tail and forgetting about the ex. I have definitely never had one of those episodes.
This is known as the "I Hate You/I Love You" drunken phone call. Ninety-nine percent of all men past the age of 21 have made this call at least once. Some men make a career of these calls. Again, I thought this was a minority.
SEX
Women prefer 30 to 45 minutes of foreplay. Men prefer 30 to 45 seconds of foreplay. For the man, driving back to her place is considered a part of foreplay.
No way. I know the percentage of guys who are really into foreplay (on a woman) has got to be like 30-50%.... ???MATURITY
Women mature at a much faster rate than men. Most 17 year old females can function as adults. Most 17 year old males are still trading baseball cards and giving each other wedgies after gym class. This is why high school romances rarely work.
Function as adults? Doing what?CATS
Women love cats. Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats.
I prefer cats over dogs.. cleaner and more picky. I treat cats like royalty. Maybe I'm part Egyptian....ADMITTING MISTAKES
Women will sometimes admit making a mistake. The last man who admitted he was wrong was General George Custer.
That's because we are never wrong. :pthe female body is a beautiful work of art*sigh* how true :)

[FuckingBitch]

First of all, a man does not call a relationship.

Funny. But not true.


A man has a little more trouble letting go. For six months, his ex may not hear from him, but then, at three on Saturday night/Sunday morning, he will call and say, "I just wanted to let you know you ruined my life, and I'll never forgive you, and I hate you, and you're a total floozy. But I want to let you know there's always a chance for us."

This is known as the "I Hate You/I Love You" drunken phone call. Ninety-nine percent of all men past the age of 21 have made this call at least once. Some men make a career of these calls. There are community colleges that offer extension courses to help men get over this need; alas, these classes rarely prove effective.

Hahahahah. My 28 year old ex makes this "call" about every two - three months.... Uhm... But the last time was when my boyfriend answered the phone :D hahahah


To the rest of it... Funny... Not quite true, but entertaining none-the-less.

[~*Supa*~]

Thinking of it that way and you will never escape the paradigm of men vs women.
I agree. Thinking men and women should be treated the same is foolish when the majority of men (analytical, problem solving) think differently from the majority of women (who seek validation of their feelings). Like when most women tell their problems to their men, it's not always to get the men to give them a solution, it's so they can get emotional support from them. But most men think that women are only asking for a solution.
You mean there are guys out there that understand this????????

OMFG I don't believe it.....

I do know that men tend to always want to fix things, and there are some things that cannot just be fixed, and they feel helpless and think that there is nothing in the world that can make the woman happy. (I learned this from my past relationship)

Peace

~*Supa*~

[Loli]

I think it's true but that's only depending on the person or persons. I know some pretty fucking stubborn assed, pathetic, immature chicks out there and some pretty normal guys but then again the majority are in the explained above catagory

[kevinb70]

You mean there are guys out there that understand this????????
OMFG I don't believe it.....

I'm single, too. ;p

Supa, I think most men my age (32) have figured that out already....? My age bracket isn't exactly representative to the age range here on PP....

And I was careful to avoid saying 'all men' 'all women' because there are plenty of exceptions. Exceptions, not the rule.

[vapor]

i'm 22 and a god in bed.. who wants some?

[Jimmy Mac]

already got some....want seconds mmmhmm

[~*Supa*~]

I'm single, too. ;p

Supa, I think most men my age (32) have figured that out already....? My age bracket isn't exactly representative to the age range here on PP....

And I was careful to avoid saying 'all men' 'all women' because there are plenty of exceptions. Exceptions, not the rule.Is that a hint???? ;)

Yeah while older guys have figured things out now...such as a man of your age. I do have to also say that there are men even older that still don't get it....my dad is one of them........

Peace

~*Supa*~

[kevinb70]

Is that a hint???? ;)

Yeah while older guys have figured things out now...such as a man of your age. I do have to also say that there are men even older that still don't get it....my dad is one of them........

Peace

~*Supa*~
*nods* (ambiguous, huh? heheh) :P

[Kujo]

We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules from
the male side. These are their rules!

Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it
down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about
you leaving it down.

1. Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not quests to see if we can
find the perfect present yet again!

1. Sometimes we are not thinking about you. Live with it.

1. Sunday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.

1. Don't cut your hair. Ever. Long hair is always more attractive than short
hair. One of the big reasons guys fear getting married is that married women
always cut their hair, and by then you're stuck with her.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that
way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not
work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!

1. We don't remember dates. Mark birthdays and anniversaries on the
calendar. Remind us frequently beforehand.

1. Most guys own three pairs of shoes - tops. What makes you think we'd be
any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good with your
dress?

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what
we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that last for 17 months is a problem.

1. Check your oil! Please.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact,
all comments become null and void after 7 days.

1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to
act like soap opera guys.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. We refuse to
answer.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways
makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done.
Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during
commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions, and neither do we.

1. The relationship is never going to be like it was the first two months we
were going out. Get over it. And quit whining to your girlfriends.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for
example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea
what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

1. We are not mind readers and we never will be. Our lack of mind-reading
ability is not proof of how little we care about you.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's
wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you
don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine.
Really.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss
such topics as navel lint, the shotgun formation, or monster trucks.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. It is neither in your best interest or ours to take the quiz together.
No, it doesn't matter which quiz.

1. BEER is as exciting for us as handbags are for you.

1. Thank you for reading this; yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch
tonight, but did you know we really don't mind that -- it's like camping.

[kevinb70]

We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules from
the male side. These are their rules!

Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!
Dude, after that post, you're gonna like need a lifetime supply of this....

http://www.goodpleasures.com/images/item_full/LO-JACK.jpg

[Kujo]

lol Yeah maybe. Still pretty funny tho. I laughed when I read it.

[krystal]

ROFL @ kujo's rules to men .............

[AB3]

uhhh, if @ 17, most women are more mature than men then how come most of the 17 year olds on this board are attention whores posting up threads about being bisexual and what-not? that's my only quam.

[Brainiac]

CATS
Women love cats. Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats.
MAGAZINES
Men's magazines often feature pictures of naked ladies. Women's magazines also feature pictures of naked ladies. This is because the female body is a beautiful work of art, while the male body is lumpy and hairy and should not be seen by the light of day.

DAMN SKIPPY!!!:headbang: And I hate cats, the little hairs they leave around make me sneeze.

[xChrisx]

this should be X-Men vs. Women. The X-Men would stomp the womens assssses

[Brainiac]

lol!

Women- "Don't fuck with me, I'm on my period"

Wolverine- "Don't fuck with me, I'm a pyscho with unbreakable metal claws and a temper"

[xChrisx]

plus the X-men can drive and fly and handle simple motor skills. Like walking and talking at the same time

[Jimmy Mac]

What about X-men vs. Wonder Woman?

my vote still goes to the xmen why you ask...because Wonder woman is still a woman running around in a patriotic maids outfit. Plus she can fly but still flys an invisible jet......women cant live with him cant live without em

[xChrisx]

she has the lasso of truth.

:wonder woman lassos Wolverine: HA you have to tell the truth.

Wolverine : im going to kill you

wonder woman: shit

[Fallosophy]

naaa, i think it would be

"Im going to stick it in......"


"no"



"......its adamantium"






"oh,.....ok"

[Ellen]

hahaha.....kujo's "guy rules" were funny! and all so true.