application for a piece of ass....

[XxFeMaLexX]

Application For a Piece of Ass


Name:______________________

City:______________________
State:_____________________
Age:__________ Phone:______________
SSN:_______________

Hair Color:__________
Real Hair Color:____________
Eye Color:___________

Dentures: __________
Weight: _________
Height:___________
Waist Size: __________
Breast or Bra Size: __________

Marital Status:
Married___________
Single______________
Divorced:_________ Other__________

Are Your Breasts Real? ____________
Do You Like Them:
Sucked_________ Chewed__________ Kissed____________
Caressed__________ Squeezed________ Licked_________
Other_____
All of the Above____________

Can You Stay Out Late? _____________ How Late?_____________
All Night? _________ Several Days? ___________

Do You Like To Have Sex And Be Screwed All Night? ____________

How Often? __________

Do You Like Oral Sex? _____________

Pussy Size:
Small ________ Medium __________
Large ____________ Extra Large __________


While Screwing Do You:
Faint______ Fart______ Cry______ Moan______
Hum______ Whistle______ Scream_______ Sing_______
Scratch___________ Just Lay There_________
All of the Above_____________________



List the Top 3 Positions You Like the Best:
1)______________
2)______________
3)______________


When You Cum Do You:
Wiggle______ Wobble__________
Twist_______ Jerk_________ Scream________
Cry________ Just Start Humping Like Hell___________


What Kind of Screw Do You Like?
Fast_________ Super Fast__________ Slow__________
All Night____________ All Speeds___________


How Many Times? _________________
How Long Do You Like To Screw At
One Interval? ___________________________


If You Have Screwed Before, Give Two(2) References
(Not Immediate Family)

Name:______________ Address:______________
Phone:__________

Name:______________ Address:______________
Phone:__________


Would your service be Free of Charge?_______

If Application Is Favorable, And If Not Free,
What Are Your Charges For:

One Night_________ One Hour____________
Muff Burger Special or Blow Job?___________

What Credit Cards Will You Accept?

Master Card_____ VISA______ Am. Express_______
Sears________ JC Penney's___________
All of the Above________ Others_________


Comments __________________________















now fill out and return.... :D :headbang: :banana:

[Jimmy Mac]

I made a checklist once it had like 50 questions and went by a point system for the perfect girl

[scoobyman]

OH my ...such an innocent looking girl churns out such a Naughty piece of work...**sighs, suxs to be gay sometimes**

You still own like Cameron Diaz in my book !!! :p :p

[XxFeMaLexX]

what can i say... sumtimes its just more fun to come out of the closet... :: grins::

[scoobyman]

seems like you are pulling my tire swing back over the fence ***Supa Grins***--I bet the grass is greener on your side !!! :eek:

[XxFeMaLexX]

hahahahahahahha




hehehe

[XxX Kristy XxX]

r u looking for a random piece of ass? if so, thats not a good thing.

or is this a joke?

[XxFeMaLexX]

Originally posted by TasteDaWainbo
r u looking for a random piece of ass? if so, thats not a good thing.

or is this a joke?


oh wow... u see this is what im talking about... if a guy had posted this.. it would be okay, right??? but since a innocent looking chick posted it... so nows shes a slut....CANT A GIRL JUST GET A BREAK AND HAVE A LIL DAMN FUN W/OUT EVERYONE BEING HER JUDGE???!?!?!??!?!?

[nesquik]

rarrr!! hisss!

[XxX Kristy XxX]

nope i think the guy would be a slut ...i dont care if its a guy or a girl...either way its kind of messed up to just have sex with some random person....im not downing u really..whatever creams ur twinkie...its all up to u...

[Stack]

I actually thought it was a joke as well :) Calm down, breath, and I'll get to filling it out.

[AvB]

1. I know this going to get thrown into porn planet within the hour.

2. Why is this application most likely appealing to the females? You're being sexist. Let the men have a chance to apply as well..... :D

3. Didn't I fuck you down at UGA one night while i was really drunk..... ? yes? no? maybe? wanna do it again to see if you or me remembers it?



















ok-- so that last one was a bit out of line for me.

[Jimmy Mac]

so wait is it a joke or is it real? if its a joke its funny if its real hey at least she has some standards

[XxFeMaLexX]

lol... i guess none will know if im joking or not... guess if you wanna find out fill it out... if i reply i was seriuos... if not you can just hope it was a joke!! hahhahahahahhah

[vapor]

Originally posted by TasteDaWainbo
nope i think the guy would be a slut ...i dont care if its a guy or a girl...either way its kind of messed up to just have sex with some random person

and yet you still hang out with me....

[Jimmy Mac]

Will isnt a slut hes just expierienced

[AvB]

These are the words that Senor Vapor lives by: Hey! whats up? Lets get drunk and fuck!

this guys ratio gets better by the minute!

[vapor]

Originally posted by Jimmy Mac
Will isnt a slut hes just expierienced

no, i'm pretty sure i'm a slut...

[XxFeMaLexX]

Originally posted by vapor
no, i'm pretty sure i'm a slut...


admitence is the first step to recovery

[Jimmy Mac]

I dont have sex with sluts...I have sex with expierienced sex partners...and I double wrap that bitch at that

[vapor]

Originally posted by XxFeMaLexX
admitence is the first step to recovery

if being a slut is a disease i'm the happiest sick man in the world...

[AvB]

I'm rather bored... so I'm actually going to fill this shit out:

Application For a Piece of Ass


Name: Andrew
City: Atlanta
State: Utah
Age: 27
Hair Color: dirty blond
Real Hair Color: real as in ... down there?
Eye Color: blue
Dentures: cream / off white
Weight: I can bench like 45...maybe 50?
Height: 8 foot 2
Waist Size: your legs will be able to reach around... and thats all that matters
Breast or Bra Size: I like a nice 36C -ish .... B's are cool. A just fuck off!
Marital Status: single

Are Your Breasts Real? Yep!
Do You Like Them: no! I want fake ones!

Can You Stay Out Late? uh yea

Do You Like To Have Sex And Be Screwed All Night? I like to have sex.
How Often? whenever
Do You Like Oral Sex? uh huh yeah..... its like practice for the money shot.
Pussy Size: tight and small

While Screwing Do You: fart, sing, bar-b-q something, watch sports center, bowling


List the Top 3 Positions You Like the Best:
1) bottom
2) under the top
3) the one where the girls on top? you know what i mean?

When You Cum Do You: blast the girl on top to the ceiling like "Scary movie" ---- i've killed a cat while shooting a load once.

What Kind of Screw Do You Like? I prefer the philips and flathead ... those are pretty standard.

Would your service be Free of Charge? as long as you cook breakfest.

Comments: Hey baby --- pick me :D

[XxX Kristy XxX]

Originally posted by vapor
and yet you still hang out with me....

welp i <3 thats why..hehe i know u beyond the whole slut thing..haha...which reminds me, we need to fucking hang out..shiiittttt

[Kim]

Andrew! You lieeeee!!! ;) BBQ something! That was good. lol

Kim

[AvB]

^ she's speaking as a reference.... we had bbq while going at it .... wasn't it great babe?

[Kim]

:twak: :twitch: Not true at all. *coughgoodbbqbythewaycough*

Kim

[AvB]

*thinking: should I bump a certain thread?* :D:D

<3 ya Kim! :)

[Kim]

hehe Love you too Andrew! :D

Kim

[- Smurf -]

LOL!!! I still have my paper copy form high school. :headbang:


See, what Buffy was really trying to do was post the application so you can print it out and have fun with someone you think is hot....or someone you like getting naked with. :shower:

[XxX Kristy XxX]

ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

[AvB]

what if you like getting naked ..... period --- or with anyone?


I still think we need a "nude rave"

[SmurfATL]

Heh i got a couple of females to fill it out.


That stuff is real man.

Come one females fill it out.

[vapor]

Originally posted by AvB



I still think we need a "nude rave"

ewwwww, i mean, there are plenty of people who would be great naked... but there are more who need to ADD layers, not remove em...

[PHiLe]

:twitch:

[Delaney]

A nude rave is a terrible idea, a very very very bad idea. The amount of std's being shared would be so numerous that they would be able to take physical form and kill people.
Delaney

[PHiLe]

heh true

[AvB]

WHO said anything about sex..... its strictly a nudist thing. Guess i'll have to pitch this idea to a colony.

[chesirecat]

andrew, andrew, andrew, tsk, tsk, tsk, you amuse me w/ ur antics. :D