Are you in a committed realtionship?

[Gargoylee]

First of all, I'm bored and just letting my mind wander at work:

FRosTY, breath... Just starting conversation :D





~ What would you do if:
a) You're a female and you found out you were pregnant tomarrow
b) You're male and you found out tomarrow that your girl is pregnant

Again, just curious. How would you handle it? How would tell them? How would you like to find out? Do you think you would keep it? Would you get married?


etc.



PS: Just to clarify again, none of my friends will be an Uncle or Aunt, so don't start fighting about who's going to be the God Parents. And damnit, BREATH FROSTY! ;)

[lilpunkkid]

my choice is keep it and get merried..because i already know that me and mah baby are going to have babies together and get merried :D

plus i don't really believe in Abortion and no matter what i would never give my baby up for Adoption

jackie

[MiXie]

Abortion. I have entirely way too many things to get done before I could even THINK of having a child. Besides that, I'm comfortable enough with my quality of being self-absorbed that I don't think it would be a terrific idea for me to have a child...I know that may change, but I've never particularly wanted kids.

BIRTH CONTROL & CONDOMS! Yay!

MiXie

[OriginalSin]

i would mos def. keep it...i think that things happen for a reason, and i dont think i could EVER kill or give up a child that came out of my stomach...

if it ever happened, i might do the morning-after pill, but i could never have an abortion after 3 weeks (heartbeat)...

but thats my opinion...

[Jellybean~]

considering i have kinda been in this situation not too long ago, when there was a chance i was pregnant, we both decided to keep it and make the best of it. then he said he would like to get married but after we found out i wasnt, he said he wouldnt want to get married that he said that just for the sake of the baby. i told him that he should never feel forced to marry me. but i know he loves me, and we both realized that one day we would like to have a child together, but i would def keep it and make the best of it

[Obi's Evil Twin]

Given that we're getting married in three months anyway, chose the keep it and get maried option. I'm strongly against abortion personally, although I try not to be judgmental because I understand that other people have different circumstances. I couldn't see my child be aborted, however.

Fortunaely, me and Misty are very careful about birth control. We want kids in a few years, but I want to be financially stable and a little more grown up first.

[Mandy]

I chose keep it and get married...Micah and I are getting married after I'm done with basic training anyway, and we're planning on having a kid when I'm done with my active service.
I can't believe now I'm actually PLANNING to have a kid...I'm sooo not ready to be a mom right now, but if it came down to it and I HAD to, I'd be able to. Hell, I'm a fucking bitch cunt, I can do anything! :D :p

[Gargoylee]

Well, I guess I'll share my answer, which isn't a definate :)

If I got pregnant tomarrow, FRosTY and I would have to have a very serious talk.

I'm definatly against abortion. I'm not to keen on adoption, but I'd be willing to leave it open as an option. I'm fine with keeping the baby and remaining independent, though I think it's very important for a child to have a mother and father. I guess the ideal would be to keep it and move in together... Just to see how it goes for a few years. See if the stress of a child would destroy us as a couple. If not, I'd say have it and get married. (seeing as I don't believe in divorce).

It would have to be a decision we would make together... I mean... It's his baby too... And we're just not at the point of our relationship where were even thinking/discussing those options....

Alright, now, who would be the God Parents is the real question?

Who knows what would really happen until it does :D

[Kep]

I would definitely not abort the child but as to getting married I don't think I wouldn't jump into marriage just because I was expecting. It might just complicate a lot of things. Granted if you've known the person for a long time and been together then it might be the path you want to take, but I wouldn't do it for the childs sake. I don't normally agree with abortion either but there are extenuating circumstances. For example lets say you (females) or someone your close to is raped, and from being raped they are impregnated. They might not want to give birth to the criminals child. I think in situations like that it's good to have the option around.

[Gargoylee]

Originally posted by Kep
For example lets say you (females) or someone your close to is raped, and from being raped they are impregnated. They might not want to give birth to the criminals child. I think in situations like that it's good to have the option around.

Agreed. I know ther are women out there who choose to keep the baby, even when it was consumated from a rape. Those women have a strength of soul and character, that I don't think I could ever have.

[syndicate09]

This really a very deep question, wow.
I was in that situation 4 years ago - shit, just showed my age, hehehe- and I definetly wasnt ready for it. I believe its a matter of circumstance, there are so many variables and conditions that could be the reason she is pregnant and for the choice to have or not to have the child.
So, it would be both there decision, no matter what they choose.
Its there decision, not anyone elses, so they should think about it and not listen to others opinions, as they might cloud there own decision.

Me and my ex made our choice, he turned four last Aug. and I cant imagine not hearing his voice when we talk on the phone, or when I get to see him.
Its totally different once it happens, minds can change at the drop of a dime. We are only human after all.
I love my son Ethan.
So I think as long as you ( the pregnant one and the partner ) make the same decision, it will never be the wrong one.

Just my opinion. PeAcE

JonJon

[Giggles]

Originally posted by SkyBabiee
Agreed. I know ther are women out there who choose to keep the baby, even when it was consumated from a rape. Those women have a strength of soul and character, that I don't think I could ever have.


If I were to be raped and then empregnated (I think I spelled that right) I would keep it because, that baby would be apart of me too. Even if it looks nothing like me, it's my child, an eternal love. Everyone needs someone to wholly look out for them and love them unconditionally and that is what a parent is supposed to do, so in that situation, the gods forbid it ever happen, I would keep it. I strongly believe that everything happens for a reason. That would be no different. I don't know if my boyfriend would stay with me, but that is his choice. This life is about tests and how you react to situations of extremeness. I would definately keep it, I would also forgive the man who did it, if he asked for forgiveness, but I wouldn't give him visitation rights.

[Cha]

i would go with abortion because i cant hardly take care of myself let alone a kid. I couldnt go with adoption because I know that I wouldnt be able to part with the kid once i had it.

pro choice...

and yes... condoms and birth control are deffinately good things

[PHiLe]

Keep it and stay independent in my own place, I'm gay after all, lol

[- Smurf -]

Well, it's good to see some of you say you're responsible enough to have sex, but not responsible enough to deal with the consequences....sure, if we fuck up, we can just kill the baby!

[Synergy]

well i wouldnt call a child an "IT" but i would keep "it" and work things out like they need to be done.

[lilpunkkid]

Originally posted by Smurf
Well, it's good to see some of you say you're responsible enough to have sex, but not responsible enough to deal with the consequences....sure, if we fuck up, we can just kill the baby!


i agree with that...i couldn't have said it better :)

jackie

[JAX]

i agree with tinker.....i mean damn....i cant even make something to eat....muchless change a diaper....anywho i think i should get to be the god mother......

[Cha]

i have never gotten pregnent before and i certainly don't plan on it... like i said... birth control and condoms are good things... besides... i dont think i could get pregnent if i tried.l

[GoldieLox]

Originally posted by Smurf
Well, it's good to see some of you say you're responsible enough to have sex, but not responsible enough to deal with the consequences....sure, if we fuck up, we can just kill the baby!

I ABSOLUTELY COULDN'T AGREE MORE!!

[AvB]

I didn't want to vote... cause none of them really applied to me. However, here's my two cents:

-If the parents are able to provide for themselves as well as the child ---- they should minimally accept the role that is rightfully theirs and take the responsibility for the child. I'm not letting any room for gray on this one. My point being on that .... if you haven't noticed lately, more and more people are not taking responsibility for their actions. Constantly, we're looking for loop-holes, or finding somone else to blame, or just a way to rid ourselves from it all. Take the McDonalds Coffee incident: come on lady, you order coffee and you know its going to be hot. If you drop it ... tuff shit. The more you decline your own responsibilities ----- when it comes time to be responsible... are you going to be?

-Now, lets say you're in HS or you've been raped or you can't provide for yourself, let alone a child --- in this situation i think it should be left to the mother's decision of either abortion, adoption, or other. I think we all know about the right age for parenting, and its not 18. I think parenting age should be around 25-ish. At that age you should know whats going on and hopefully have a backbone. Other: if the mother's parents are willing to help their daughter provide, nurish and take care of the child --- by all means they should. This scenario has room for some gray.

I don't want to get a whole speech going about abortion here... but I'd say I'm pro-life. I strongly disagree with making it illegal to have an abortion. People, we whine enough about other civil liberties that are stripped away from us... we all know "mother knows best".... not mr. Bush, or any other political body. So my thought on abortion is let mommy decide. And there are a lot of situations where abortion would be an acceptable answer --- and really its the girls's business and no one elses.

Marriage is another part of this post. Marriage, family structure ... etc --- has greatly changed in the past 10 years. People are living together, having kids and not getting married. I see marriage and being parents as two different relationships now. So just cause you're having a child, doesn't necessarily mean you have to be married. I think mommy and daddy can still be bf/gf for awhile and see if marriage is right for them. Families being ripped up by divorces isn't cool --- so i've heard. Making the decision to get married based on the spontaneous idea of a child is on the way ---- really isn't thinkin' it through all the way. Thats a decision based on impulse ---- and might not be a wise decision at that.

One more thing i want to add: all guys need to keep up with their sperm. Its funny yes... but still. I would never deny that a child was mine... nor would i run away from it ...etc. Thats as low as a man can go. Period.

Umm.... yeah, i have a lot of thoughts on this.. and i'll check back on this post later and post some more... before i sit here and write a book.

[Gargoylee]

Originally posted by AvB

Marriage is another part of this post. Marriage, family structure ... etc --- has greatly changed in the past 10 years. People are living together, having kids and not getting married. I see marriage and being parents as two different relationships now. So just cause you're having a child, doesn't necessarily mean you have to be married.



Do you think this could be attributed to the degeneration of American society?

Originally posted by AvB

One more thing i want to add: all guys need to keep up with their sperm. Its funny yes... but still. I would never deny that a child was mine... nor would i run away from it ...etc. Thats as low as a man can go. Period.


Very good. Unfortunatly, I've actually see guys to the "low as a man can go" shit.

[AvB]

Delia, this is why I like posting to your threads... its an actual conversation and not just who can change the subject the most in 5 minutes.

Do you think this could be attributed to the degeneration of American society?


I would say that the American society is finally beginning to mature in relation to Western Europe and other cultures of the world. Here's an analogy: America is like the taddle-tale kindergartener. "Oh!... you guys had sex. You don't believe in God --- !!!." Whereas most of Western Europe is very much more independent as far as the individual goes. People don't incimate people for sex, drugs/alcohol, and relegious things. A stereotypical American as I'm thinking of it now would be a caucasian, christian, close minded and ignorant person. "If the bible says it -- its law." People -- that book was written centuries ago. It might have been the shit... I am sure I could come up with a more modern philosophical book to live your life by. For example: Bible says don't have sex untill you're married. I say its human nature... use you're own judgement.

[Kibler]

Originally posted by AvB
Delia, this is why I like posting to your threads... its an actual conversation and not just who can change the subject the most in 5 minutes.



I would say that the American society is finally beginning to mature in relation to Western Europe and other cultures of the world. Here's an analogy: America is like the taddle-tale kindergartener. "Oh!... you guys had sex. You don't believe in God --- !!!." Whereas most of Western Europe is very much more independent as far as the individual goes. People don't incimate people for sex, drugs/alcohol, and relegious things. A stereotypical American as I'm thinking of it now would be a caucasian, christian, close minded and ignorant person. "If the bible says it -- its law." People -- that book was written centuries ago. It might have been the shit... I am sure I could come up with a more modern philosophical book to live your life by. For example: Bible says don't have sex untill you're married. I say its human nature... use you're own judgement.

keep in mind you live in the south - not in "American society". things are ALOT different outside the bible belt. ;)

[Stack]

Originally posted by AvB
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Originally posted by AvB

Marriage is another part of this post. Marriage, family structure ... etc --- has greatly changed in the past 10 years. People are living together, having kids and not getting married. I see marriage and being parents as two different relationships now. So just cause you're having a child, doesn't necessarily mean you have to be married.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Originally posted by SkyBabiee
Do you think this could be attributed to the degeneration of American society?



Is it necessarily a degeneration? The mother, father and child family model is what has been drilled into our psyche as the right way for things to be, but is it really a failure of our society when that isn't the way things are working? Even in the golden years of America, things weren't as perfect and docile and well balanced as we're taught to believe. I'd bet the Beaver's mom was getting it on with the milkman even then, they just wouldn't put it on tv. ;) :o

[Gargoylee]

Originally posted by Kibler
keep in mind you live in the south - not in "American society". things are ALOT different outside the bible belt. ;)

You have an excellent point here. When I was engaged, years ago I'll add, I had a very hard time finding a church willing to marry my fiance and I because we were living together and had been for 5 years.

Originally posted by Stack
Even in the golden years of America, things weren't as perfect and docile and well balanced as we're taught to believe.

You're correct, however, the degeneration comes with this:

It's more acceptable to get divorced and for increasingly menial reasons. The degeneration of society comes in when people so overwhelmingly put themselves above everything else. Their wants and desires are more important than the child they created. Adults act less and less like "adults" by the minute. You have single mothers who have children with three different fathers and are still running around "dating" numerous men. Never once taking into account that the child needs a stable home. And it's only getting worse.

[Stack]

Originally posted by SkyBabiee
You're correct, however, the degeneration comes with this:

It's more acceptable to get divorced and for increasingly menial reasons. The degeneration of society comes in when people so overwhelmingly put themselves above everything else. Their wants and desires are more important than the child they created. Adults act less and less like "adults" by the minute. You have single mothers who have children with three different fathers and are still running around "dating" numerous men. Never once taking into account that the child needs a stable home. And it's only getting worse.

Sounds it was quoted from a book I read a while back. "Toilet Theory" or something like that. :P I couldn't agree more about it being wrong, I'm pretty old fashioned when it comes to family values. I'd say nothing has changed in the culture though beyond the acceptance level. And damn mass media for that. Things are getting worse and worse like you said, the importance of putting ones self first is becoming overblown and pushed way past natural rights. You have to be the most beautiful, get the most sex, have the most money, and be the most most to be anything... Where did having the strongest values and carrying an independant thought go?

[Gargoylee]

Originally posted by Stack
Sounds it was quoted from a book I read a while back. "Toilet Theory" or something like that. :P I couldn't agree more about it being wrong, I'm pretty old fashioned when it comes to family values. I'd say nothing has changed in the culture though beyond the acceptance level. And damn mass media for that. Things are getting worse and worse like you said, the importance of putting ones self first is becoming overblown and pushed way past natural rights. You have to be the most beautiful, get the most sex, have the most money, and be the most most to be anything... Where did having the strongest values and carrying an independant thought go?

I need to get that book. I've never heard of it.

Strongest values and independent thoughts are seen as weaknesses because they set you apart from the crowd and make you seem like you don't want to be part of society. But where this began developing, I haven't a clue?

CONFORM! CONFORM!

Orange is the new pink!

[AvB]

Damn I missed out on some good convo.

keep in mind you live in the south - not in "American society". things are ALOT different outside the bible belt.

Very good point Kibler. I haven't really been able to experience in other parts of America besides Bible Belt southeastern America. I'm intrigued about California though ... there appears to be a great population of open-minded people there.

[AvB]

.....and now back to abortion and stuff... :D

[Gargoylee]

Andrew, try Miami. It's not Bible belt either. It's an intriguing mix of values and modern society. I <3 that city.

[lilcupcakesjo]

Well, I always have this talk with anyone I am dating before we even get heavy in a relationship. I use birth control and condoms, always have,all the time, so pregnancy is extremely minimal. Just in case I ever did get pregnant I really wouldn't know what I would do. I am pro choice but I guess it would depend on how I was doing financially and emotionally. If I were to get pregnant at this point in my life I would have an abortion. I am in no way able to be a good parent since I am about to go through school. If I was older and had my life settled I might consider having the child. I have very mixed feelings on this, however, since I grew up with only one parent, my mother. I never got the chance to know my dad and that has always been something I have wanted. At this point in my life I don't want any children and I am not sure I ever will.

Johanna

[AvB]

Miami is nice... but the roads were confusing.... definately a hip town indeed.

[Gargoylee]

Originally posted by lilcupcakesjo
Well, I always have this talk with anyone I am dating before we even get heavy in a relationship. I use birth control and condoms, always have,all the time, so pregnancy is extremely minimal. Just in case I ever did get pregnant I really wouldn't know what I would do. I am pro choice but I guess it would depend on how I was doing financially and emotionally. If I were to get pregnant at this point in my life I would have an abortion. I am in no way able to be a good parent since I am about to go through school. If I was older and had my life settled I might consider having the child. I have very mixed feelings on this, however, since I grew up with only one parent, my mother. I never got the chance to know my dad and that has always been something I have wanted. At this point in my life I don't want any children and I am not sure I ever will.

Johanna

Out of curiosity... Why would you have an abortion over giving the baby up for adoption?

[lilcupcakesjo]

Originally posted by SkyBabiee
Out of curiosity... Why would you have an abortion over giving the baby up for adoption?

I could not carry something for 9 months and just give it away. Like I stated, I use protection all the time so pregnancy is less than 1/2 a percent. I have always wanted to know my father and have always questioned why he was never there. I would not want my child to go through the same things I did.

Johanna

[Gargoylee]

Originally posted by lilcupcakesjo
I could not carry something for 9 months and just give it away.

I understand that comletely. It would be super hard for me too.


Originally posted by lilcupcakesjo
I have always wanted to know my father and have always questioned why he was never there. I would not want my child to go through the same things I did.


I'm not sure... I have a lot of friends who are adopted, and though I think they wonder about their birth parents... The family that adopted them far makes up for that kind of curiosity of abondonment. Then again, I may be wrong.

[lilcupcakesjo]

Originally posted by SkyBabiee
I understand that comletely. It would be super hard for me too.




I'm not sure... I have a lot of friends who are adopted, and though I think they wonder about their birth parents... The family that adopted them far makes up for that kind of curiosity of abondonment. Then again, I may be wrong.

Well, I have lived with this first hand and I sure as hell didn't like it, LOL. I was not adopted but I grew up without one of my parents. There is always the risk of that happening and I don't think it's fair for me to put another human being through this if I can not guarantee that both parents will be there.

I have other reasons as well. I had asthma really bad as a child and had to be hospitalized a few times for it. Thankfully I grew out of that. I also had/have eczema. I would not want to pass that onto another living thing. It got to the point (when I was younger) where I would wake up scratching my hands and arms till they bleed. Luckily, I have grown out of that almost completely as well. These are two things that can be passed down to your children (my dad had both). I also think the world is not the best place so I would not want to bring someone into something that I don't like. LOL.

Johanna

[Apathy]

i would have to go with adoption theres no way im about to take or how my gf take innocent life, thats just my opinion

[AvB]

I also think the world is not the best place so I would not want to bring someone into something that I don't like. LOL.


Also as quoted from the movie The Rock:
"Raising a child in this world would be considered an act of cruelty."

[MoonGrrl]

If I would have gotten pregnant a few months ago, I'd have taken responsibility for MY own actions and take care of her/him. I wouldn't make the father be a part of their life. It would be up to him. So either way, I would take care of the child myself.
I find it hard to think about even giving the baby away. The only reason I'd get an abortion is if I was in no way near responsible enough, money wise and such.

[dr00]

like i'd have to worry about having kids anyway :twitch:

[Serenity]

Even though I would be extremely upset and scared, I would have the child. I am after all engaged to be married allready. I do not believe in abortion (exept for one special circumstance) and I think that if yout ake the risk.......... and it happens then it's YOUR responsibility to face up to the consequences. :) If not....... you DONT NEED to be sexualy active to begin with!

[SDawg]

just to let you know avb that chick who spilled coffee.... well ya see they didn't show you all of that. my friend learned this in her law class. the lady did NOT spill coffee in her lap, but in actuality the coffee was so hot that the cup collapsed in her lap. that was really all i had to say.

well i guess i can also put my two cents in on this two since i already voted. i am in this situation right now actually... i'm not sure if i'm pregnant yet but if i am the only option i have is abortion. like crack said i can barely take care of myself let alone another human. i have had an abortion before and i do not regret it but it wasn't the happiest thing i've done. the circumstances however lead me to believe that it was my only decision as i was waaaaaay too young to be having sex or having a child. i would not want to put it up for adoption because that means i cannot ensure that my babies life would be the best it could have. i would not want to have the baby in the first place. i am way to young and way too stupid to deal w/ one. i think that this is just a scare tactic that god or whoever is watching over me to think twice about unprotected sex and the affect it can have on my life. whatever it is...... it's working.

[lilcupcakesjo]

Originally posted by SDawg

i'm not sure if i'm pregnant yet but if i am the only option i have is abortion. like crack said i can barely take care of myself let alone another human. i have had an abortion before and i do not regret it but it wasn't the happiest thing i've done. the circumstances however lead me to believe that it was my only decision as i was waaaaaay too young to be having sex or having a child. i would not want to put it up for adoption because that means i cannot ensure that my babies life would be the best it could have. i would not want to have the baby in the first place. i am way to young and way too stupid to deal w/ one. i think that this is just a scare tactic that god or whoever is watching over me to think twice about unprotected sex and the affect it can have on my life. whatever it is...... it's working.

Man, be careful. I know someone that has had two abortions and now is not able to have any children. Not sure if you ever want to have any but please be careful. Good luck to you in this difficult time you are facing.

Johanna

[Gargoylee]

Originally posted by SDawg
i would not want to put it up for adoption because that means i cannot ensure that my babies life would be the best it could have.

Just think about this:

1. Even if you were in a better job, with a better house, with the best guy in the world, you still wouldn't be able to ensure that you could provide the best it could have... There are never guarentees in life.

2. Imagine Frosty. All the laughs you've had, all the good times...
Imagine not having those....




















Frosty's adopted :)
I know I wouldn't prefer a world without him. Your child (if you are pregnant, giving to adoption) may bring someone absolute happiness in their life. :)

[cuppy]

i agree with smurf one hundred percent, and i personally think abortion (under most circumstances) is an immature, selfish, and totally heartless thing to do.and it says quite a bit about the person or people that decided to do it.... thats just my opinion about it.....

cuppy

[Jadea]

hmm...i think that it depends on ur situation. I personally don't wanna have kids right now, so my options would be to give it up for adoption or have it. The chances of me carrying it for 9 months, then giving it away..is very slim. So i think i would prolly have an abortion. I cant see me giving up my hardwork to some other family..can't see it.. Having an abortion may be an example of selfishness, or immaturity but i have to do whats best for me first...and right now..havin kid would interupt my plans for ME. I am too young, i have to many aspirations, and too many other things to worry about besides feeding and burping time. I guess to me..kids are BIG ass responsiblity..A LIFE LONG responsiblity.. and i don't want that right now...sometimes u have to think with ur head not ur heart.

[loneknight]

well me personaly i whould keep the back im a guy but i whouldn ot want my child killed or givin away because it came at a bad time no it is a blessin to have in my country abortion is sometimes punishible by death but it goes beyond that i mean how can you kill something alive like that so new so fragile andm ost of all so you ?

[Jadea]

hmmm....i knew sometthin was diff about u...Loneknight where are u from? or what country do u speak of?

[darkmoon]

Well personally I would be pissed, cause my baby would have to have it, and well i am a lesbian lol. Buit I am personally adopted, so if it happened suddenly, there is no way I would keep, we both are no where near stable and I do not believe in hiding things. With the rape issue, I have had that happen to me and have had to keep the child because my parents were strong against abortion. But I ended up having a miscarriage anyways. So aboriton is out, but adoption is in cause you can leave things with the kids so that when it does go to hell they can read it and know what happened.