View Full Version : Jokes to offend! If you look you probally will be offended.
nakedcoldiron
03-19-2003, 01:20 AM
Does anyone know any offensive religous jokes?
I just heard one today.
Whats the diference between Jesus, and a picture of Jesus?
A picture only takes one nail to hang.
Now lets soo who can top that one.
Mandy
03-19-2003, 02:07 AM
I have no religous jokes...but I've always loved this one :p Makes me laugh every time :D
What's black and blue and doesn't want to have sex anymore?
the 6 yr old boy in my trunk :cool:
Roach
03-19-2003, 03:38 AM
Whats the difference between your bed ridden grandma and a bathtub?
I cant fuck a bathtub
Whats the difference between a Ferrari and 65 dead babies? I dont have a Ferrari in my garage
Mandy
03-19-2003, 05:14 AM
Euphies posted this one awhile back but a lil differently I think...
What's the diff between a trunk full of bowling balls and a trunk full of dead babies?
You can't toss the bowling balls out with a pitchfork :D
an oldie but goodie :p
Mandy
03-19-2003, 05:15 AM
I've also got ALOT of racist jokes but I don't think I'll post them...Hmm maybe thats one way of "going to far" as hardluck put it lol
~*~*XpinkX*~*~
03-19-2003, 07:34 AM
racist jokes are funny though
how do you know a rednecks on her period?
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she is only wearing one sock
biggin_junglism
03-19-2003, 06:05 PM
how many christians does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
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three but they work as one....
you guys can do better than that... im not the slightest bit offended...
You're so ugly, when you were born the doctor took one look at you and slapped your parents.
You're so ugly, every time your mother looks at you she says to herself, "Damn, I should've
just given head."
You're so ugly, you mother had to get drunk before she breast fed you.
You're so ugly, you make blind kids cry
You're so ugly, when you masterbate, your hand falls asleep.
You're so ugly, you could model for death threats.
You know you have had a bad day when you put your bra on backwards and it fits better...
You know you suck when your twin sister forgets your birthday...
I love defenseless animals, especially in a good gravy...
Join the Army, meet interesting people, kill them.
Travler
05-10-2003, 12:03 AM
What's a gay mans favorite chinese food?
creamofsumyoungguy
Gargoylee
05-10-2003, 12:26 AM
Here's one I'm sure VERY few people will get...
Why did Jesus die on the cross??
He forgot his safe word.
ja_muyo
05-10-2003, 12:56 AM
Did you hear about the book on overpopulation in Hawaii?
It was written by King Kumoniwanalaya
ja_muyo
05-10-2003, 01:02 AM
offensive religious jokes?
Jesus Christ walks into a hotel, he hands the innkeeper three nails and he asks, 'Can you put me up for the night?'
Gargoylee
05-10-2003, 01:09 AM
Originally posted by ja_muyo
offensive religious jokes?
Jesus Christ walks into a hotel, he hands the innkeeper three nails and he asks, 'Can you put me up for the night?'
hehehe. That's one of my boyfriend's favorites :) But mine still beats that one, I think...
Well, if you know what a Safe Word is...
Does ANYONE around here know what one is?!?!? :)
ja_muyo
05-10-2003, 01:13 AM
i dunno what it is :)
porchmonkey
05-10-2003, 02:12 AM
gawd damn people do you not understand simple bondage, delia please teach them!
maxim303
05-10-2003, 03:17 AM
lol.. yeah, i know... bdsm, anyone?
Gargoylee
05-10-2003, 07:55 AM
Originally posted by porchmonkey
gawd damn people do you not understand simple bondage, delia please teach them!
:headbang:
Safe word. Master and Sub set a specific word (not easily thought of or "slipped" in pleasure or pain) - If the Master is really "evil" it's set to something something REALLY hard to think of and probably remind you of it while you're getting your ball gag in your mouth (god, I love my evil friends, that's some funny shit) - and if the pain is seriously too much... Like not feeling good anymore... You scream your safe word so the Master can stop...
And Jesus died on the cross because he forgot his Safe Word ;)
Does anyone get it now? Well, besides PorchMonkey? :D
maxim303
05-10-2003, 11:57 AM
uh-huh... look a post above yours...
:rolleyes:
Gargoylee
05-10-2003, 01:48 PM
Originally posted by maxim303
uh-huh... look a post above yours...
:rolleyes:
Just making sure. PorchMonkey had already mentioned simple bondage (= Bdsm).
ja_muyo
05-10-2003, 02:07 PM
woah! but now I know....and knowing is a half empty bottle :D
delia that's my favourite... tell it again?
and all you other people suck, delia's was the ONLY funny one...
and i'm still not offended in the least
Gargoylee
05-10-2003, 03:04 PM
Originally posted by dr00
delia that's my favourite... tell it again?
LOL.
Why did Jesus die on the cross?
He forgot his safe word
LOL. I love that one too! :)
hahahahahah *sniff* thanks d :D
Rinoa
05-10-2003, 03:39 PM
A duck walks into a pharmacy, gets some chap stick, walks up to the cashier and says "put it on my bill".
Ok, I am not racist in ANY way, but I thought this was really offensive....
Why are black people so good at basketball?
Because they can run, shoot, and steal.
Gargoylee
05-10-2003, 07:12 PM
Originally posted by dr00
hahahahahah *sniff* thanks d :D
Anything for *sniff* you baby.
Handle
05-11-2003, 06:38 PM
why don't you ever see Mexico in the olympics?
Because all there fastest runners, jumpers, and swimmers are already in America.
TrixNStix
05-11-2003, 06:44 PM
A white guy, a black guy, and a chinese guy all make a bet concerning a hooker that was notoriously quiet. $100 hard cash would go to whoever could make the hooker scream. The white guy goes in, nobody hears a damned thing, and comes out 15 minutes later looking rather dejected. The black guy, confident as hell, saunters in. A few muffled sounds can be heard, but still no screaming. He comes out looking pissed off at his failure. The Chinese guy bows politely to the other two competitors and strides in. Within 3 minutes shrieking can be heard from the room much to the amazement of the other two men. The Chinese guy comes running out, clothes in hand, laughing. The white guy and the black guy ask him how he did it.
He replied, "Me Chinese, me play trick, me put spider on my dick"
:D
Gargoylee
05-12-2003, 01:35 AM
How do you know if your baby is a Guido (WOP, whichever you prefer)?
Becuase he won't use the pacafier unless there's hair around it.
candy_raver
10-20-2003, 02:43 AM
i've got one....... okay u guys ready?
how do you kill 1000000000000 flies in one second?
you slap a mexivan in the face with a fying pan
maxim303
10-20-2003, 03:02 AM
how do you turn a fruit into a vegetable?
add one siberian tiger...
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